The Incredible Hulk is one of the all time great characters in the superhero universe. Created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby he first appeared in comics in 1962. Since then he has been gray, red and of course classic green, drawn by a ton of different artists and written by dozens of writers. He has also been good, bad, smart and dumber than a bag of hammers. One thing that has stayed consistent though is his RAGE, it is never ending.
Really now, what would the Hulk be if he ever managed to tame that great anger of his? Ummm, he would be just plain old Bruce Banner and let’s face it, he would be far less interesting.
So why is he so mad all the time? Oh I know that the comics have spun various explanations and led you to believe this or that. Well newsflash… once again the truth is to be found right here, directly from the ToyNerd.
Listen carefully… the reason the Hulk is not the easiest person to be around… the prime reason he is constantly so pissed off… is because of his toys! Yeah you heard me.
More specifically because of the plush figures of him. Don’t worry I have the proof right here.
For some reason the Hulk, one of the most powerful characters in the comic-o-sphere, is probably the one who has had his likeness abused more than any other character out there.
Remember a while ago when I wrote about how Yoda plush items were just plain terrible? If not read this. Well poor old Hulk takes it to a whole new level.
How about this for starters…
He looks a little more like another one of those poor folks with another one of those mystery chromosomal anomalies. If you saw this guy you would not be worried that he was going to pummel you into the ground, more likely he would ask you if you had seen his baseball.
This guy is not far behind. It seems like they just can’t get the eyes quite right.
The manufacturer here didn’t hold back at all and they took poor Hulky’s legs altogether leaving him with just four toes on each foot. Very P.T. Barnum if you ask me. Perhaps he should have come with a skateboard so at least he could wheel himself around and maybe bum some change.
Don’t worry, they didn’t stop there.
Next they chopped the whole lower half of his body for this golf club cover. Such undignified treatment for this legend of comics. I am guessing most of us would sport the same grimace if we had the business end of a driver inserted in our bottoms. Actually I don’t even want to think about that… new topic please.
Back again to the four-toed version you saw before. This time though he has been upgraded to something I can only describe as the Christopher Walken version. This reminds me of that great scene from True Romance where the Dennis Hopper character says his final words.
Apparently that head was such a winner that it got reused, this time placed on a body more akin to a pudgy child that has had more than his fair share of Happy Meals. The result is a cool little back pack, be the envy of all your friends… r-i-g-h-t. I smell a beating on the way to school for someone.
Believe it or not these get worse before they get better.
I am not quite sure what effect they were going for when they made him out of this shiny nylon material. Perhaps it was the bronzed-adonis-all-oiled-up-on-the-beach look, very 70s. Oh, but he is completely green so I guess not.
This hulk is just way too ripped, perhaps he went through a hardcore tattoo phase because of his aspirations to be a Yakusa thug. Doubtful. I am also not so sure what’s going on with the big double chin thing either. Baffling.
Perhaps cheerful hulk is the way to go?
I think he looks a bit like something from the land of the Jolly Green Giant.
Let’s agree that maybe that wasn’t the right way to go.
Needless to say there are many more that are equally sad and in fact terrible renditions of poor Mr. Hulk.
They even botched his hands.
Those stripey fingernails and that black/green color everywhere. What are they doing? Give they guy a break for a change, pleeeeese.
Hopefully by now you can see what I mean about the root cause of the Hulk’s incredible rage. I say we give him a pass don’t you?
Flickr = 23,942
There are currently 43 items listed on the ToyNerd Exchange check it out
I’ve seen some bad plushes before, but poor Hulk seems to have the worst ones. My favorite is the second one. It just screams out “Hulk need to use bathroom”.
That first happy Hulk looks like some kind of weird cross between I Dream of Jeanie and The Great Gazoo!
He’s back! Gary is on track again, burnin’ the midnight oil and makin’ sure he is the first to respond
Yeah, there seem to be so many great comparisons… except to the Hulk himself
There all so bad…there kind of cute!
In my Captain America collection, I have many stuffed versions of him and I must say that I love them all no matter how goofy some might look. I even have a golf club cover just like the Hulk one you show.