I thought that would get your attention.
Don’t worry I will deliver on this one, it wasn’t just some lame sensationalism just to draw you in… like that would work on you guys anyway.
My last post on the Blob (click here if you missed it) had me thinking about certain other of the Marvel characters, and I can tell you that from where I stand there is a little somethin’ a little fishy going on.
Specifically I am going to focus on one set of toys in particular, namely the Marvel Legends from Toy Biz. Thought by many to be the best line of Marvel figures ever. They made a ton of cool characters ranging from the superstars down to a number of the B- and C- listers. The figures articulate well and can be posed easily, they are durable so you can hand them to a kid and not worry that they will be returned two minutes later in pieces, each figure comes with cool accessories and best of all they look great.
Some favorites of mine…
Wolverine
I mean seriously look at the detail on that, and don’t forget that is a 6″ figure. They definitely reset the bar for superhero toys.
Colossus
These figures are just amazing… and I am not even a fan of Wolverine or Colossus.
On the otherhand…
The Thing…
… and the Hulk are characters I do like and their figures are just dynamite. You can be pretty sure that a number of the Marvel Legends pieces made by Toy Biz (and NOT the ones made by Hasbro) are the definitive representations of many of the characters they did. That is no small feat specially when you consider there have been countless Marvel figures produced as part of 101 toy lines over the years.
So what gives with my bold claim about cross-dressing? Fear not I am getting to that.
The American Heritage Dictionary, 4th Ed. gives the following definition.
Cross-dress: To dress in the clothing characteristic of the opposite sex.
Now admittedly if we did an analysis of superhero garb in general I am sure we find that a number of them wore outfits that would probably defy classification, however here are some characters worthy of closer examination.
Let’s start with Elektra.
Ninja Assassin of Greek descent and seen as a major comics hottie… specially by her beau Daredevil.
Or how about Black Widow? Another hottie who is slated to be in the upcoming Iron Man 2 movie.
Scarlet Witch from the Avengers, married to the Vision has been included on my list.
Last of all I give you Jean Grey/Phoenix, one of the most powerful characters in the Marvel universe and object of Cyclops’s desires.
Now there others but I thought I would just give you a few examples to mull over.
So the big story here is that they are all dudes… you heard me… M-E-N! Possesors of both X and Y chromosomes. Yep, guys in women’s clothing. Bet you never knew that… more importantly I wonder if Daredevil, Vision,Cyclops and Hawkeye did!
OK, so what gives? That is a pretty big story to be dropping, and drop it I did… remember folks you saw it here first.
As I have told you before, TOYS = TRUTH (go back to my posts on Wonder Woman or Chewbacca for other examples). Given that fact we can say without a shadow of a doubt that these guys are all definately the type who pee while standing up.
Evidence? How about this…
They all have very large larygeal prominences, more commonly referred to as Adam’s apples.
Now before you jump all over me, yes I know women can get them but they rarely reach the size of the ones these ladies have. Therefore there is only one conclusion they are men dressed as women. Whether you like it or not the evidence speaks for itself.
I know some of you are going to tell me that it has something to do with the way they made the figures… wrong!
Check this out.
Lady Deathstrike, Psylocke, Storm and Mystique, all from the same Marvel Legends line, seem to be apple-less. Bear in mind their production was mixed in with the ones I showed you above so the absence is not even due to a change made in response to fan feedback or manufacturing difficulties, etc.
I think it is kind of cool that superheroes are representing more and more segments of today’s society and Marvel is leading the way… truly marvelous. Hopefully soon the comics will catch up and reveal each of these character’s true origins.
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There are currently 51 items listed on the ToyNerd Exchange check it out.
Thanks to Kaptain Kobold for the pic of the Lego minifig
I agree that Marvel Legends is a very nice line of figures. They did a nice job.
In a bit of a coincidence, I just set out my Marvel Legends Beast mere minutes before reading your post. He’s currently reading a the Sherlock Holmes Miniature Book of Quotations. Dr. McCoy does love to throw out quotations during a big battle. Foe example:
“Violence does, in truth, recoil upon the violent, and the schemer falls into the pit which he digs for another.”
Here’s a picture of him:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/garthmcmurray/4283839117/sizes/l/
Quite the bit of investigative journalism. I will have to look at my DC figures now to see if Wonder Woman or Catwoman is living a lie.
The original picture on which you based the montage at the top of your post is here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kaptainkobold/1422600992/
Nice to see it getting some use, if not an acknowledgment.
The omission has been corrected.