You may have realized by now that toys seem to be made for almost everything these days. Admittedly if we look back over the decades we can find all kinds of examples of toys that, for want of a better term, just don’t make sense. In the seventies we had the Grizzly Adams doll, the eighties gave us action figures from the Love Boat, the nineties gave us… well far too many offenders to mention here. It wasn’t until the last ten years since the change of the millennium that things seemed to get really out of hand. Today all you have to do is get noticed in the public eye for a second and someone is out there peddling merchandise. Aaaand, given that toys have recently been elevated to the lofty ranks of legitimate collectibles the market seem to be awash with dolls and figures of every Tom, Dick and Harry out there.
For the record, this does not bother me at all. As a fan of the fantastic and a lover of all things terrible, the two thousands have been a veritable treasure trove of trashy toys. Sweeeet! Which, in truth, will provide me with material for this blog for eons.
My selection for today was actually released at the end of the ninties, 1998 to be precise.
By Creation Entertainment we have the 11″ Drew Carey doll from the self titled Drew Carey Show. Seriously people, what the hell did they make this for? OK, given, the show was pretty popular around this time running for nine, yes I said nine, seasons and over 200 episodes. But come on… who ever said, “I love the Drew Carey Show so much that I gotta get me one of them there Drew Carey dolls”? According to my extensive research (?) it was exactly none.
Look, he even came packaged with his own briefcase and coffee mug accessories - YAY! Puh-leeze.
I never actually saw the show, and I am sure plenty of you are going to chime in and talk about how great it was… I can not debate this with you. But a doll of a roundie middle aged guy with glasses that look like cast offs from Steve Erkel… I dare you to justify the merits of this little gem.
As you can see, I wasn’t kidding when I called him a “roundie”. Nope, they even gave the doll quite the pot belly. I do like the detail on the background though, all these cool caricatures of Drew Carey himself, a nice touch.
Believe it or not, we haven’t seen the worst of it yet. Brace yourself…
Aye chihuahua, I think Ronald McDonald’s crazy mom escaped from the insane asylum again!
At about 10″ tall, and about the same around (I kid you not) we have the Mimi Bobeck doll. Played by Kathy Kinney, who I am sure is a delightful woman in real life, but holy mother of all that is holy! That is one butt ugly lookin’ figure.
Of course this is keeping with her character, as she is a very loud and obnoxious personality on the show. Still I am stuck on the whole, who actually was going to buy this question. My best guess is that it was aimed at the gag gift for the annual office yankee swap for the holidays… outside of that though, I got nuthin’.
As you can see, they make quite the couple don’t they? Too bad they didn’t round out the set with figures of Diedrich Bader or even TV’s Craig Ferguson who also starred on the show.
Expect to pay… well whatever you want for these. They sell for next to nothing, which in all fairness is about what I think would emerge when you apply the old economic model of supply and demand. Supply seems to be ample… the demand is almost non existant. I think I got these shortly after they came out, yes even back then I had a real eye for all things awful, and I want to say I coughed up the princely sum of about $1.99 each on clearance. I know, crazy me, but sometimes you’ve got to just splash out.
On a side note, I am intrigued by the strip of purple tape at the bottom of each of the packages. Obviously they had a change of heart about something that was written there. Unfortunatly the tape does not peel off easily so I can only imagine what is written here. How about, “Warning - This toy is just as crappy as you think it is”? Or even, “Probably not suitable for children or people you like”?
OH LOOK, A CONTEST!!
Given that I haven’t given away anything recently, I decided to set a new contest in motion. It’s simple, even I could do it. Put your thinking caps on and give your best suggestion for what should be written beneath the tape. To enter just write it down in the comments section below and enter as many times as you like. For the one that makes me laugh the most I will cough up a cool prize. Be sure to include your email address when you post so I can contact you if you win.
Entries must be received by August 4th to be considered.
Best of luck.
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Anatomically Correct
The show had its funny moments, but in now way did it justify these figures. I must admit however, they did a great job in capturing Mimi’s likeness.
WARNING: Prolonged exposure to these dolls may cause fertility issues in females and impotence in men.
I really liked the show, it was really forward thinking. It started out basically your average sit-com, but out grew that over the first few seasons. They had some fun episodes where you had to look for inconsistencies and errors, the person who got the most won a prize (I don’t remember what that was, maybe a walk on role?), for re-runs they’d do pop-up notes pointing things out. They did live shows for April Fool’s for a few years in a row (I think, maybe the error shows were April Fools…). It would break the 4th wall a lot, it was a lot of fun. Except for the last season or so, the lead female left and it went down hill from there.
My entry:
Not for human consumption. For rectal use only.
Perhaps I should watch a little of this show, it sounds half way decent.
As someone who watched it do you think the show merited having toys?
(under the sticker)
“Type 2 diabetes” variant
WARNING: May cause blindness
Toys? No, not really. Drew did have a Catwoman statue in the backgroud of his living room set, and Oswald and Lewis dressed up as Batman and Robin a few times, but aside from those dubious connections, not really any reason for toys.
Thanks for droppin’ the knowledge on me The Goog
Warning: Choking hazard at sight of Mimi Bobeck.
Not for Children Under Suicide watch.
Below the tape:
“Old County Buffet” playset not included.
There was a typo of the show’s theme song “Cleveland Rocks!” so the boxes said “Cleveland Cocks!”.
“This product has no affiliation with Dilbert.”